recent thoughts: living, not just existing
I recently travelled to Crete for a week’s holiday, and I decided to have a full ‘digital detox’ while I was there. My mind needed the break, and I wanted to simplify my existence for a while, compared to the fast-paced digital world I’m used to. No social media time; just us, my books, my thoughts, and the sea.
Allowing a full space for my mind to wander, I entered a sort of flow state for a while, leading with my intentions in any given moment: I want to read, I want to swim, I want to journal, I want to rehydrate, I want to take good care of my skin with more suncream. There was no framing of things coming from the digital world, and I could be alone with my thoughts, and let them expand, and ripple through reflections and memories and daydreaming. It was really refreshing, and I slowly re-embraced the real world again, instead of experiencing it majorly through my phone.
I had recognised how the multitude of distractions and immediacy of daily life in a busy city could reduce me to an existing being - at full mercy of the stimuli around me, and living in a state of autopilot - rather than a living one. Someone that keeps their individual intentions behind what they do, instead of making mindless decisions caught on societal norms and pressures. Someone that actively ensures their brain has the space to process, mull over, reflect, rest.
Of course, the Cretan life I had is not real life - after a week of sun-soaked bliss, I returned to my responsibilities, my place in our digitalised society, and the fun and opportunities around me. But it was nice to embrace a little introversion time, with no expectations, no timetables - and start back from the basics of daily living. I hadn’t had time like this in so long - and I utilised it as a starting point to reset, to recreate what I want my life to look like, from my mind outwards.
It is certainly more difficult to give your brain processing time when there’s so much going on around you. Phone notifications, the instant gratification of plunging into different apps to feed your brain with stimulation, which feels like it can never be satiated. That’s how our society looks now - a frightingly Black Mirror-esque community of people glued to their screens. Next time you’re on a bus or train or tram, look up and count how many people are not on their phone, and simply looking out the window or reading. The number is usually miniscule.
And while there’s a place for the wonders that the online space presents us - and so many at that - it’s important to actively take breaks from it. I finally acknowledged that my brain was at the full liberty of flitting from one digital stimulus to the next, mindlessly opening Netflix on my phone when I needed to unload the washing machine or do the dishes - as if I couldn’t simply think for myself without making my phone look after my existence for me, staying distracted from my own mind, like a robot. Opening Instagram or TikTok to have a scroll without asking myself, why I am doing on this, what do I need in this moment from these apps? Inspiration? Entertainment? Or am I procrastinating, using it as a buffer source between one task and the next? Am I automatically tapping it to feed my brain’s need for instant stimulation?
It took a clearcut break to stop denying that this is what was happening. To come to terms with my self-awareness and reset things again. I wanted to recreate my daily life’s occurances as a living, thinking, fully feeling being - not just an existing one. To live with more self-awareness of my thoughts, events, corporeal needs. To intentionally choose pleasurable things that actually make me happy - instead of delaying this precious time on my phone, without any intention present.
Sometimes it might be that I wish to go on a little social media scroll for life inspiration, or reading recommendations, or a little healthy entertainment, or to get new creative ideas - but it’s important for me to stay in control of my true wishes and what is healthy for me. Being mindful of the innate comparison-thinking that lurks under the surface of our social media time, no matter how secure we are in our lives. Keeping in control of our temptations to keep scrolling, to keep looking for the next dose of gratification, the final reward that we never really find. Otherwise we’re reduced to robots - when actually it’s far more fun and memorable to live with a mindful separation from these things.
As the truth is - we’re not on this planet for very long. There are so many enriching experiences, friendships, adventures to go on - even in the midst of everyday life. Every day truly can be an adventure - it’s a gift left wide open to you every time you open your eyes. Your choices are yours, your mindset is yours, but you can only have a full grasp of that if you take good care of your living self - instead of simply existing, remaining on autopilot. It takes a little daily effort and self-awareness, but once a mental habit is formed and the longer it goes on for, the easier it becomes.
So today - remember to lift your eyes away from your phone and take in your surroundings, the people moving through the streets, the expansive sky, the sounds, the scents, the potential and the beauty everywhere. You’re a part of that, and so much out there is waiting for you. Your unique mind is a gift, and a tool, to continually be creating the life you want to live. Take proper care of it, let it breathe where you can, you’d be surprised of the ideas and reflections and plans it can delve into if you give it time and space.
There’s a difference between living, and simply existing - and no matter what this world presents, and the challenges I may face, I never wish to forget that.
