learning the way of the Stoic: 3 lessons from Stoic philosophy on living well

A few weeks ago, I was wandering the streets of Rome, gazing in wonder at all the beautiful details around me and absorbing the sweetness of the Italian soul permeating every square and street corner. Rome is known for many things: the architectural grandeur of the Colosseum, the creaminess of its spaghetti alla carbonara, the opulent sites of Catholic reverence in the Vatican.

The Eternal City is also known for the development of Stoicism: that is the school of Stoic philosophy founded in ancient Greece and later built upon in Rome. To be a Stoic is to truly question how to live well. How to craft a meaningful life and nurture yourself to be a rational, sensible thinker and feeler. Its uniqueness lies in its deep comprehension of the human condition- goodness and ethical thinking start from within, when we carve away the biases, anxieties and assumptions that, when remain unquestioned, cause us unnecessary mental harm.

In short, Stoicism teaches us how to develop the mental clarity and rationality we need to reason well, to keep our mind balanced and stable. To not let life’s worries, complications and stresses permeate our minds into a state of emotionally unregulated stasis- no matter our unique tapestry of life’s experiences and challenges. It teaches us the art of living well, secure in our mind and cultivated in true self-awareness.

I was curious to find out for myself how I could use the learnings of stoicism to live well, to develop the mental tools to deal with my emotions and experiences more pragmatically in the day to day.

I had found what looked like the perfect book to introduce myself to all the key Stoic practices and mantras: ‘The Daily Stoic: 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and The Art of Living’ by Ryan Holiday and Stephen Hanselman. They have created the complete beginner’s education to the teachings of Stoicism, structured as daily reflections, each providing a small nugget of wisdom for every day of the year. A digestible way to slowly but steadily incorporate the Stoic mindset over the course of a year.

I bought the book on New Year’s Eve, and eagerly began my learning journey the following morning, after welcoming in the promise of 2024, a leap year of 366 days each beginning with a slice of Stoic meditation, no more than a page to absorb and reflect upon while fuelling my body with breakfast.

Three months have now gone by, and I’ve soaked up every word of wisdom for every daily entry. I keep a notebook of certain teachings that especially deserve writing down and keeping for later reminders. I’ve tried to write them in my own words to better cement them in my brain.

I thought I’d share three learnings from the months of January to March with you, that I’ve found particularly important:

Teaching #1 - Only focus on the things you can control

The most important practice in Stoicism is identifying what we can change- and what we can’t. Anything outside our realm of control shouldn’t take away valuable mental energy.

Anxiety stems from ruminating on things we can’t control, sacrificing our own peace of mind on the ‘what ifs’. Instead, when you feel anxious swirling about a possible event, ask yourself: why do I feel this way? Am I in control of this situation or is my anxiety? Is it doing me any good?

This kind of mental clarity will serve to make us happier in the long term.

Teaching #2 - Identify your own path and values - and stick to them with reason

Stoicism teaches that self-knowledge is freedom. Knowing our true purpose, what’s important to us- and directing our choices around this- gives us the space to carve the life we truly want. Our individual choices on the day to day combine to give us a life created by these choices.

So we must use good judgment, fuelled by our goals and desire to live well and do good to the people around us. This prevents us from being puppets of our impulses and mindless habits. Challenge these habits, practice self-awareness, use your reason to stabilise the external chaos that arises around us.

Reason gives us clarity - so we must keep a hold of it, not let it get overshadowed by our emotions. Take a step back before we react, before we make a decision, before we act. Keep your mind in charge- not your emotions.

Teaching #3 - True serenity is a result of your choices, not your environment

We mistakenly believe that our surroundings are the source of our happiness. That we’d be most happy living in a secluded seaside town, unburdened by the stresses of modern life. But what if you lived in this bubble and made bad choices? What if you always acted on impulse, lacked any self awareness, applied crooked judgements?

The Stoics believe that true happiness stems from our choices, no matter where we find ourselves. The intention to apply good judgement, stay calm and composed, to be sensible with our time and priorities. This is what truly leads to a state of serenity that can’t be rocked by external chaos.

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While writing this very article, in a window seat in a central Manchester coffee shop, with my Stoicism book visibly placed next to my laptop, someone approached the window to tell me, via enthusiastic gesticulating, that what I was reading was ‘very good’. It made me smile, and gave me a sense of affinity with a community of Stoic thinkers, no matter how long they have been practicing its teachings. For we’ll always be working on ourselves, how we can be better to ourselves, our minds, and the people around us.

This book has taught me to take a step back, remember the bigger picture I’ve been placed in, to better recognise when I may be behaving irrationally and grabbing onto unhelpful assumptions. It’s helped me better quash feelings of irrational anxiety. But of course, this is a process lasting over time - reading teachings doesn’t change the game without regular reflection and self-aware judgements to do better next time.

That’s why this book of daily mediations to encourage regular self-reflection and mental work is such a valuable way to slowly learn and assimilate the healthy daily practices of Stoicism. In a world of meaningless distractions and misled priorities, developing a strong philosophical foundation for yourself to build a contented life upon, is so important, yet can be so overlooked. So I wholeheartedly recommend you begin - or continue - this Stoic learning journey for yourself, to equip you with the tools to help you truly live well.